If you know me well at all you know that I am crazy about understanding personality styles and the people they control. (Insert smiley face icon.) As I always say, if you’ve ever given someone direction on something and they just stand there looking at you with the deer in the headlights look, then you probably think to yourself, “I know this person is not dumb, why don’t they get what I’m saying?”

While we have a tendency to believe that the issue of understanding what we’re saying is the hearer’s fault, the truth is that it’s ours. We give information the same way we receive information. Therefore, if I give someone with a strong detail personality information the way I like it, (short and sweet, and in sound bites) then I am failing to set them up for success.

The reason I’m so passionate about personality styles is that once you understand how people, think, act, react, process, etc., you begin to learn how to some extent you can win with communication. Now hear me correctly on this, I’m not saying that you are a failure, (That’s for all of you high I’s and S’s in the DISC profile) I’m saying that you’re not fully reaching your potential. For example, about 8 years ago I hired a fantastic woman in a very stressful administrative type of role.

Actually it was admin on steroids…and…Jolt Cola. Each time I would give her a project to work on she would look at me funny, leave my office, and in 10 minutes she would be back letting me know that she didn’t understand what to do. After a few months of dealing with the same type of issue, I decided to pull out her DISC profile and read through it immensely. As I did I discovered that I was being a horrible leader.

There was no possible way she could do the projects I asked of her since I had not given her enough information to actually complete the tasks. Once I realized that, and decided to stop thinking of only me, I called her in and explained how bad I was doing as her leader. Without hesitation she said, “um, yeaaaaah…I agree!” Okay, actually she was still processing, but that’s what her eyes were telling me.

This doesn’t just stop at your team members. It carries over to your family, your friends, and your customers. If you don’t see how important that is, stop reading my blog and get back to playing your PlayStation. Even if you have taken the profile, or you’re really smart and you’ve had your team take it, I can tell you that I have met a couple of people out of hundreds who actually understand how to use them correctly.

Question: When have you noticed different personality styles causing communication struggles?

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